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Just being allowed to feel happy about her work makes a better relationship.

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“It’s like a being a business friend with benefits, but I won’t eat the last slice of pizza or the last beer”. Carol’s knowledge and guidance as an attorney was weighed versus older men who stubbornly head into disaster to “prove a point”.

Carol had dated a divorcee who nursed a grudge against his first wife’s business decisions with their money. Carol cites her dilemma with men closer to her own age: “I got tired of fighting a battle for supremacy everyday. I have abilities and skills and I got fed up trying to pretend I am less than I am.

To Carol, most younger men don’t have these issues.

“I am not competing with the ex-wife on the phone, setting my calendar and budget according to his divorce settlement and past, or outracing the kid’s needs for attention.

Carol explained how she and her boyfriend structure alone time to pursue friendships and other interests so that time can never be unevenly spent out of whack.