Your Tango's top experts dish on the seven telltale signs that he's dating you for your money.1. Whether you're a partner in a law firm, a successful entrepreneur or simply one of the many women who is very good at her job and is well-compensated for her skills, any lady of means is a possible sugar mama. So how do you know if a man is after you or your wallet?Recent widows and divorcees can become providers as well."Perhaps [the potential sugar mama's] spouse has died and she was left a significant amount of money. Diana Kirschner takes it in the opposite direction by stressing that he'll be a total gentleman when you first meet. She mentions that "If the person is a true gold digger, it can be hard to tell in the beginning because he's often are putting on a full-court press in order to win you."Spira backs this up by saying that these charming men will pull out all of the stops just so you'll fall for them. She confirms that "Often they will pretend to have their own money, but in reality, they are borrowing from Visa to pay Mastercard [so they can] finance the relationship until you're hooked."Eventually he'll stop paying for things and assume that you'll provide and pay for things most or all of the time.3. Does he only like to go to the fanciest restaurants? That's why Julie Spira advises "If you're concerned someone is dating you for your money, leave your wallet and purse behind." Don't let yourself fall into the trap of buying or accepting extravagant gifts.4.
(And no, the surveyors apparently did not ask how giving up sex would help a woman budget.) A few other highlights from the survey: This stark contrast in money-tudes got me wondering about whether there were new money rules when dating.
So I called experts -- dating coaches, matchmakers and even the lauded "Love Doctor" -- a Detroit psychologist who has been studying the success and failure of 300 couples for the past 25 years -- and asked what sort of financial behaviors would serve you best if you wanted to couple up.
But that doesn't mean a guy should go for broke when taking a girl out, particularly if the relationship might get serious. You may be disturbed by what your spouse would do to beat back the debt you incurred while trying to convince her that you weren't a dull, cheap guy.
If women needed to cut back to reduce their debt, they'd be more likely to give up alcohol and sex than shopping and chocolate, according to the survey.
Usually, he'll blame his problems on another woman or a previous spouse. Asking for a loan is a sign that he may see you as a cash machine rather than a real love interest.