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Dawn, though seemingly smitten by her filthy-rich suitor, would not consider dating Ken unless he had the intestinal fortitude to pick her up at her home. "Of course she wasn't ready," Ken said as he peeled an apple while sitting in a Bob Marshall forest glade, his gleaming Weatherby magnum leaning against a nearby tree. Yet his popularity consistently exceeds that of the Pope, Newt Gingrich, and Beavis and Butthead combined. Word of him builds steadily to a crescendo, always reached in each year's waning days. Most folks who've spent entire lifetimes amid bear country now consider the capsaicin spray as a safer tool to dissuade an aggressive grizzly than a .44 magnum.

The man actually chuckled, but watching closely, I also saw him shiver. He's celebrated in song and verse; stories are written about him; his profile is considered favorable and is often visited by artists of all stripes. Stopping a charging grizzly with a firearm requires a well-placed bullet.

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It was a classic perverted sort of love story, like those cranked out by the bushel in Tinseltown, U. Dawn was a beauty queen who was actually on her way to the Miss America pageant representing her home state.

Ken was a successful computer software maker worth millions.

When it's permissible to express pleasure in the presence of your life's partner.

You may, however, adjust the doily club routine by lovingly admiring your spouse watch her morning soaps. Those three words composed of but eight total letters have poured oil on more troubled waters than can be recounted.

Ken, who was the one to tell this tale, admired the beauty queen's ravishing loveliness. He dropped Bob's clasp to discover a .44 magnum slug rolling around in his own palm. Like me, he peers nearsightedly over the tops of his glasses and his cheeks are perpetually flushed by spending lots of time outdoors in all kinds of weather. But the queer thing about this bird is his popularity is based on no known public relations script. There, bear research biologists who actually do the work of trapping and handling bears on the ground discussed the efficacy of deterrents.