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you are going to eat alone, don’t be selfish”, others added.

‘Eating’ has been a term used in Kenya to describe the way politicians gorge on state resources but it is also used when one gets to spend money they have not worked for.

The waiters would ask my husband what it was that I was going to eat. I was invisible to them; he had to keep telling them to ask me what I wanted.

Unfortunately, I am not quick with words in a face-to-face confrontation, and it was only afterwards that I would imagine in my mind all the words I would have thrown back at the waiters. Another that still baffles me to this day is the amount of, for lack of a better word, respect, that a white person enjoys in this country and what they get away with simply because they are white.

A friend advised me about the dangers of marrying white men because of their controlling ways and high divorce rates.