At the time, I wasn’t well versed in what a self-identified “nice guy” (also sometimes known in feminist circles as Nice Guys™) actually was: someone who feels entitled to women for his supposed kindness.behavior– which is based on one’s sense of superiority stemming from one’s “nice guy” status and usually accompanied by indignation when women reject the “nice guy” – is actually a telltale sign that someone is not nice.If he makes you feel like you owe him anything, the shame is on him, not you.
Regardless, the assumption that people should be awarded dates according to how nice they are, with good people getting many and jerks getting very few, simply doesn’t reflect how dating works. Sometimes, nice people struggle with their love lives. This may seem unfair, but the whole concept of fairness is irrelevant when personal choices are concerned.
Stories of friends who get together can be sweet, and unrequited crushes on friends are always painful, but there are plenty of valid reasons not to date a friend.
These guys are worth waiting for, but they don’t deserve a badge of honor. And despite what “nice guys” might say, you deserve that respect and owe nothing in return.
Suzannah Weiss is a New York-based writer whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, Salon, Seventeen, Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Bustle, and more.
I remember seeing a movie called Fish Tank with a guy I was dating in college.