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One of them wears a tight red spaghetti-strap dress under her coat, the hem of the jacket hitting about the same spot on her thigh as the dress. They just stand to either side of the presentation, being attractive and wearing lab coats. The tension of wondering whether anyone in the room is going to drop trou at any moment to show off their surgically modified nether regions keeps me almost as tense as the kegels that I — and, I’m fairly certain, every other woman in the room — am frantically performing on an almost involuntary level.

Underneath her lab coat, the other woman wears a lacy black push-up bra and underwear. The invite to the event had made mention of models, and I hadn’t known what to expect. It’s like seeing a Jillian Michaels commercial on TV and doing two sit-ups before giving up.

'There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well.